Mother, Grandmother, Sister & Mate
Losing a loved one made easier with the help of Hospice
March 2007 and Ann Davidson at the age of just 54 years old was given the terrible news that she had cancer and only had a very short time to live, but with the love, care and support of Hospice South Auckland this life changing news was made as manageable as possible for Ann and her family. Ann was in and out of Hospice over the next couple of months and her family was constantly by her side at what was undoubtedly the “worst time of their lives” as they went through the pain of seeing their much loved mother, grandmother, sister and mate suffer. At the times when Ann was at home the community nurses tended to her with compassion and expert knowledge.
To Ann’s sister Jewel, the heartache of losing her much loved baby sister was indescribable. She got great comfort from taking Ann out into the “Beautiful Memorial Garden and looking out over Totara Park” and also took some comfort spending some quiet time alone in the Hospice grounds. Jewel also found listening to the piano playing provided by volunteers and seeing the homely fire burning in the fire place on arrival at Hospice, some relief from the stresses of the sad realities of life. Jewel says “the staff always knew just what to say and added some gentle humour at times.”
Ann’s son Paul remembers the times he was able to take his children out to the playground and his mother would get immense pleasure in those last days watching her beloved grandchildren playing and having fun. He said there were plenty of toys around to keep the children occupied and the staff were also great to the kids. A close family member described Ann as “A shining light - a gentle wallflower who liked to stay out of the limelight but took pleasure from uplifting others.”
Visiting family and friends were extremely grateful of the way Hospice South Auckland accepted them as they were and always made themselves a hundred percent available to answer their questions and reassure them. Ann’s family all found the medical staff professional, understanding and helpful at all times. The use of the Whanau or Family Room was invaluable to Ann’s relatives during the time that Ann was in the In Patient Unit as they were able to get together as a family and remember the good times. They were incredibly thankful to have full use of the Whanau kitchen, particularly as Paul’s wife, Marama was heavily pregnant at the time and in the sad, final week, beds were no problem so the family could be there around the clock to be with Ann.
Most of all, family members took solace in the fact that Ann was well cared for and was happy in the surrounds of Totara Lodge and she got a lot of pleasure in her final days from looking out at the gardens, the kindness of the staff and Fluffy the resident cat who would visit frequently, sleeping on the spare bed and warming the hearts of the many visitors. Ann herself, being a great animal lover, was delighted when Fluffy spent long periods with her. In fact it was Fluffy who turned up and literally escorted Ann when she had passed away and left the care of Hospice.
Ann’s family and friends will always remember the love and empathy given to them through the time they were there and will never forget the day they were given as much time as they needed to say ‘Goodbye’ when she passed away in May 2007. It was this tremendous support that inspired Belinda Murtagh, a close family friend, to donate the first paver in memory of Ann in the Valerie Vili Rose Garden to be built in the Hospice grounds. Belinda had no previous experience with a hospice and remembers the “humbling experience of seeing first-hand the genuine caring of the staff at Hospice South Auckland” and was impressed by the kindness, love and support which Ann, her family and friends received. “It reminded me that life is still beautiful, even with the terrible sadness of death.”
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